WASHINGTON, 1 April — Assistant White House Press Secretary, M. Jess Kidden, reported to Reuters this morning that a year-old puppy had been left behind in the White House, possibly abandoned by the outgoing first family. Members of the West Wing junior staff discovered the canine sleeping in a crate in the former Executive Chef's office. Facts are scarce, Kidden admitted, since none of the permanent household staff wishes to come forward with testimony, fearing they might be targeted for political retribution. What is known is that an unnamed foreign ambassador quietly hand-delivered the Russian Wolfhound puppy during the summer of 2020. A handwritten tag attached to the crate read, "Thank you for everything. I'll miss you. VP" Advisors soon found themselves informing the president that, "No, the pet was not a gift from Vice President Pence." The president named the puppy "Boris Good Enough" (which he believed was the name of a cartoon character he vaguely remembered).
Boris enjoyed a fairly smooth transition to life in the White House, soon bonding with the teenaged son. But, when the pup showed a preference for the boy over his father, an executive order was signed and he (the dog) was expelled from the private living quarters. Soft-hearted housekeepers found him a place to live, in a crate in the basement kitchen. Cooking staff provided him with scraps whenever healthy food happened to pass through the kitchen. One of the waiters purchased a bag of grain-free kibble with his own money.
There is no indication that the poor animal suffered after his exile to the basement. But he would growl whenever he heard a certain voice on the kitchen television. Boris has now been adopted by the White House Fresh Produce Manager, April Furst, who had been placed on extended leave for most of the last four years. She's glad to have her old job back and she's glad to have a new animal companion.
The former administration, when asked why Boris had been hidden from the public, responded, "The 45th President did not wish to contradict the popular impression that he hates all animals."
The bookends above, made in the 1920's, depict a sculpted Russian Wolfhound. Please click on the photo above to learn more about them.
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